[BUGFIX] Mitigate MySQL limitations in `ReferenceIndex`

With #102171 a sub-query is used to fetch the records
to delete. We missed two things:

* Placeholders in the sub-query need to use the 'parent'
  QueryBuilder instance.

* MySQL is picky and disallows using the same table from
  the delete query in a sub-query, at least not directly.

This change adds an additional, chunked query to the mix,
to mitigate picky MySQL and takes care of correct
placeholder handling.

Resolves: #102175
Related: #102171
Releases: main
Change-Id: I52684537952b6e0a331541ca88b212ce19bf2455
Reviewed-on: https://review.typo3.org/c/Packages/TYPO3.CMS/+/81434


Reviewed-by: Markus Klein <markus.klein@typo3.org>
Tested-by: Christian Kuhn <lolli@schwarzbu.ch>
Tested-by: Stefan Bürk <stefan@buerk.tech>
Reviewed-by: Stefan Bürk <stefan@buerk.tech>
Reviewed-by: Christian Kuhn <lolli@schwarzbu.ch>
Reviewed-by: Garvin Hicking <gh@faktor-e.de>
Tested-by: Garvin Hicking <gh@faktor-e.de>
Tested-by: core-ci <typo3@b13.com>