[TASK] Speed up bin/typo3 referencindex:update

By deleting sys_refindex rows pointing to deleted=1
records early, and ignoring soft-deleted ones in
the main loop, we can speed up the call significantly
for instances with many soft-deleted records.

Example data point with my test DB: Before ~24
seconds, with patch ~6 seconds. The more soft-deleted
records exist in a table, the higher the improvement.

Resolves: #102171
Releases: main
Change-Id: I0f567fd2197e06d8da1adc5857c2877a36028c63
Reviewed-on: https://review.typo3.org/c/Packages/TYPO3.CMS/+/81421


Reviewed-by: Stefan Bürk <stefan@buerk.tech>
Tested-by: Oliver Klee <typo3-coding@oliverklee.de>
Tested-by: Stefan Bürk <stefan@buerk.tech>
Reviewed-by: Christian Kuhn <lolli@schwarzbu.ch>
Tested-by: Jasmina Ließmann <minapokhalo+typo3@gmail.com>
Tested-by: Christian Kuhn <lolli@schwarzbu.ch>
Tested-by: core-ci <typo3@b13.com>